PETA WATCH

A new mcjob has become available for the Australian limb of radical vegan lobby People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) in the form of a 'Celebrity Marketing and Media Coordinator'.

The job will be based in either the lobby's spacious Sydney office or attractive Manila.

Crucial animal-welfare responsibilities include:

- Staying informed about celebrity and internet celebrity news and gossip

- Approaching celebrities and/or their management to garner support for PETA Australia's campaigns

- Coordinating marketing efforts at the launch of each celebrity campaign

- Develop and make recommendations for new pitch ideas and ways to increase media coverage of PETA Australia's campaigns, using independent judgment and discretion

So watch out Aussie C-list celebs. Your 'services' will be required soon, sans wardrobe, to help kill off Australian industries and subvert the Aussie lifestyle.

As for the successful applicant, we hope you enjoy your new fun role:

Sue Perna of Chesapeake went to work for PETA as a receptionist soon after the organization moved to Norfolk from suburban Washington in 1996. She says she found a high level of turnover and job anxiety. ``The tension was so thick you could feel it,'' Perna says. ``Everyone was so scared for their jobs at one point, we began to call the office telephone list Schindler's List.''

Firings came frequently and without warning, she says. ``It was done so capriciously and with such seeming zeal by Ingrid,'' she says. ``She seems to take joy in extinguishing people's careers.'' It's ironic, Perna says: A woman who has dedicated her life to fighting animal abuse is herself ``an abuser of the human animal.''

Read more about working for PETA here.